Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Forgiveness, can one truly forgive the person who harmed them? I was recently asked if I forgive the man who raped me. My first response was, "Yes I chose to forgive him in order to move on and not be a bitter and hateful person. Later on in the conversation I was asked if I truly, honestly, really forgave him. When I heard it phrased that way I realized, no, I haven't really fully and freely forgiven him, I don't think it is possible for me to ever be able to say to him, "Oh, no big deal, I got over it, you are truly forgiven." I think "Forgiveness" is something we need to say has been given in order for us to start to heal, to be able to give something back to the universe, that we no longer hold the responsibility to contain that anger within us everyday. I think there comes a time when many feel they need to be able to let go of some aspect of their feelings, but maybe "forgiveness" is the wrong phrase to use in this step of the healing process. I think some people may also think that they are a "bad" person if they don't show "forgiveness" and it is something that is expected of us. Once I was able to release some of the negativity and hatred (as much as I dislike using this word, nothing else really compares) I felt towards him, I think I was able to concentrate more of my energy and effort on myself and moving forward with my life and the process of healing myself and my loved ones. I try not to think of him much, I try not to think of the anger and resentment I carry for him, because it brings me down. I wish he could feel the pain he has inflicted on my 100 times over, but I don't think it would change him, and that is not within my power and to wish this against him doesn't make me a happy person, but an angry and depressed one. Therefore I have had to let go of what I can't control and carry the wish that what comes around goes around and good people are rewarded and the others suffer in their own ways. What do you think about forgiveness? Do you think you could ever truly forgive the ones who assaulted or abused you?