Saturday, July 3, 2010

Regaining Her Voice: Tani’s Story

How old were you at the time of the assault ?

I was 15 years old at the time of the assault.

How old are you currently:

I am now 27 years old.

Where did the assault happen:

The assault took place at his house.

Did you know the person(s) who committed the assault:

He was my ex-boyfriend who desperately wanted to take my virginity.

Did you tell anyone about the assault at the time:

I told my best friend, however I did not have the courage at the time tell anyone else until a year later.

Did the assault go to a court trial?

No, I never pressed charges.

Do you think they will commit sexual assault again?

I am not sure.

What would you like to say to people about sexual assault?

I believe that women are sexually violated more often then one might expect.

Personally, the guilt and shame I felt caused me to shut down emotionally for a long time. I did not deal with my pain until a year later. Most women want to forget that it ever happened; therefore most assaults are never reported. I also believe that it is important to resolve all residual pain and not allow it to control you life. Moreover, I strongly believe that any person who sexually assaults another person should be castrated or in other words, should get their dicks cut off.

What would you like to say about this project?

I hope that it provides support to other sexually assaulted women who are afraid to talk about their painful experience. I strongly believe that talking about it helps to heal your soul.

I was raped when I was 15 years old by an ex-boyfriend that my family and I trusted, undoubtedly. My mother dropped me off at his house with no hesitation; he was considered part of the family. He was the last person I would expect to hurt me, as I felt safe with him. We joked about him being my “big bro”. Anyway, he had another male friend over from school and after a while I felt the sexual tension heighten. Even though, I felt uncomfortable I didn’t know to trust my instincts as a teenager. When it happened so suddenly, I only remember looking into both their eyes and seeing frustration and confusion. At first, I almost felt like I fell victim to some boyish experiment. However, I did realize that I was the victim of a violent crime that resulted in the lost of my virginity. I will always remember the day my innocence was stolen from me and it will haunt me for the rest of life.